Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice, Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Invitation of Doom

Brandon Stewart hated the holidays. Each year, like clockwork, the so-called “season of gratitude” filled him with the warm fuzzies of dread and despair. His father, Garth, and his mother, Jazlyn, had called an awkward truce after a decade of divorce—but let’s face it, they both knew how to land a passive-aggressive jab better than a friendly hug. Thanksgiving was a nuclear family reunion on a short fuse, and Brandon was its only blast shield.

This year, things were going to be different, he told himself. Not in a good way, no. This year, Brandon was diving straight into family dysfunction armed only with his unflappable best friend, Damarae, who had sworn to make the holiday “a laugh.” Brandon had no clue what that meant, but judging by Damarae’s track record, it would involve a public disturbance and at least three warnings from Officer Estrella Miles, the local traffic cop who Damarae flirted with to escape every ticket he should have racked up by now.

As if that wasn’t enough, Brandon had dared to invite Adalynn, his on-and-off crush and maybe-future-girlfriend-if-he-played-his-cards-right. She’d reluctantly agreed, but Brandon couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that he was leading her into a nightmare only Stephen King could appreciate.

The problem started as soon as word of Adalynn’s invitation reached his father and mother. They decided, in a rare stroke of collective genius, to blend their Thanksgivings into one big happy gathering. Apparently, impressing Adalynn by pretending they were the picture-perfect family was more important than sparing Brandon from yet another holiday hellscape.

By the time Roberto, Brandon’s thirty-something stepfather, heard about the blended dinner, he reacted like a cat thrown in a tub. He and Garth had a longstanding dislike for each other, primarily fueled by Roberto’s silent wish that he could watch his wife’s affair with Garth’s wife unfold in full HD. Roberto might have been “happily married,” but he carried the kind of secret that would make even a soap opera blush.

But it was Brandon’s stepmother, Laura, who was the real puppet master here. Cool and disinterested, Laura was more invested in her shopping addiction than family politics. Her only rule was that nobody get too close, but that didn’t stop her from cozying up with Jazlyn in secret. She insisted on the big blended dinner with her usual chill detachment, knowing full well that if tensions escalated, she’d be laughing inappropriately in the background with a Black Friday ad in hand.

And so, Brandon’s fate was sealed. Thanksgiving was going to be a lot of things: an emotional rollercoaster, a logistical nightmare, and likely a deep dive into the annals of dysfunctional family gatherings. But, if nothing else, he was grateful for one thing: when this was all over, he might just walk away with a date—if Adalynn hadn’t decided he was completely insane by then.