It’s October 3rd, and while some guys are basking in the glow of appreciation, being showered with love and (probably) snacks from their girlfriends, you’re here—without a girlfriend, without fanfare, and certainly without a National Boyfriends Day card. But hey, who needs a holiday to remind you of what you don’t have, right?
As a guy who’s single, this day can either be a cringy reminder of your solo status or a chance to celebrate yourself, the unsung hero of your own life. So, let’s lean into this day, not with bitterness, but with humor (and maybe some questionable decisions). Here’s a guide for all the fellas spending National Boyfriends Day… girlfriend-less.
1. Celebrate the Fact You Don't Have to Share Your Stuff
Being in a relationship means sharing. Sharing your snacks, your Netflix account, your weekends… even your bathroom, which should be a sacred, untouchable space. But today? It’s all yours. Want to hog the TV and marathon sports highlights? Do it. Nobody’s going to tell you that watching four hours of Rick & Morty reruns is a waste of time. You’re free, my man. Free.
2. Gift Yourself the Stuff You Actually Want
If you had a girlfriend, she’d probably get you something like socks or a coffee mug for National Boyfriends Day, and you’d have to smile and act like it’s the best gift ever. Instead, treat yourself. Want that new gaming console? Order it. Eyeing that set of ridiculous car mods on eBay? Pull the trigger. There’s no one to tell you “we need to save money for more important things.” Today, the important thing is you.
3. Eat Like a King (Because You Are One)
In a relationship, your diet often has to consider things like “health” or “balance.” But not today. Today, you eat like the savage bachelor you are. Fire up the grill, slap some steaks on there, and throw in some bacon for good measure. Order enough wings to feed a small army and polish them off alone while watching the game. Because, let’s be honest, any day without kale is a good day.
4. Make Yourself Laugh (At the State of Your Love Life)
Who says guys don’t get emotional? Sometimes you just have to sit back, sip a Cirkul, and laugh at how gloriously single you are. Why not open up Tinder just for the ridiculousness of it? Swipe, laugh, and swipe some more. Maybe even update your bio to something painfully honest like, “Celebrating National Boyfriends Day solo because I’m the prize that no one’s claimed… yet.” Humor is the best way to cope with the fact that your love life resembles a deserted island—no signs of life anywhere.
5. Plan a Bro Date
If you’re feeling generous, text one of your single buddies and see what he’s doing. You’re both single, so why not make this day an excuse for a “Brofriend Day”? Grab some food, play video games, hit the gym, or just chill. Guys don’t need an elaborate excuse to hang out. Plus, there’s something satisfying about knowing you’re not the only one flying solo today.
6. Skip the Flowers, Buy Yourself Tools
While some people may go for the cliché of sending themselves flowers, let’s be real—you’re not a “flowers” guy. Instead, pick up something that’ll actually make your life better, like that toolset you’ve been eyeing or a gadget you absolutely don’t need but will be fun to mess around with. A drill, a chainsaw, or that new gaming chair that reclines just enough for optimal laziness. Nothing says “I love me” like buying yourself something that actually makes sense.
7. Channel Your Inner Stoic
If you’re feeling a bit introspective, take this day to reflect on why you’re single. Not in a “woe is me” way, but more like a stoic philosopher contemplating life’s mysteries. “I’m single because I have standards” or “I’m waiting for the right one, not just any one” are good lines to tell yourself. Alternatively, “It’s because I’m too awesome for anyone to handle” works too. The point is, you’re single because you choose to be. (At least, that’s what we’re going with.)
8. Celebrate Your Freedom
When you’re in a relationship, there’s always the pressure of planning something, doing something, or being somewhere. Today, there’s none of that. You can do whatever you want, and no one’s going to ask where you are or what time you’ll be home. Embrace the beauty of being your own boss. You answer to no one, and that’s a cause for celebration. You are the master of your domain, and your domain is glorious.
9. Avoid Social Media Like the Plague
If there’s one thing you don’t need to do today, it’s scroll through Instagram or Facebook and see the flood of #NationalBoyfriendsDay posts. You already know what they’ll look like—cute couples, mushy captions, and the kind of public display of affection that makes you want to throw your phone into a wall. Spare yourself the agony. Instead, scroll through memes or watch cat videos. It’s the digital detox your sanity needs.
10. Realize You’re the Boyfriend You’ve Been Waiting For
At the end of the day, you don’t need someone else to make you feel special. You’ve got you. You’re the one who puts in the work, the one who grinds every day, and the one who’s always got your back. Why wait around for someone else to treat you like a king when you already run the kingdom?
Conclusion
So, fellow single guy, this National Boyfriends Day, don’t sweat it. Use it as an opportunity to celebrate your freedom, your awesomeness, and your ability to get through life solo. You’re not single—you’re just “romantically independent.” Whether you’re grilling up steaks, laughing at your own Tinder profile, or buying yourself some ridiculously unnecessary gear, remember: the best boyfriend you’ll ever have is you.
Now excuse me, I have a pillow with my name on it that’s waiting for my salty tears.
Discover more from F4Phailure
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.