Blended for the Holidays: A Year Later, and Still Collecting Dust (Literally)

Well folks, it’s been almost a year since my book Blended for the Holidays waddled its way onto Amazon like a drunken uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. And in that time, do you know how many copies I’ve sold?

Zero.
Zilch.
Nada.
Not even a pity purchase from a distant cousin trying to look supportive.

Honestly, at this point I think my book is competing for the Guinness World Record of “Most Ignored Piece of Fiction.” And let me tell you—failure has never felt so on-brand. Or should I say… phailure.

But hey, I wrote it. I published it. And while it currently sits on Amazon like the awkward relative nobody talks to at family gatherings, it still exists. That’s more than I can say for most of my half-baked life ideas (looking at you, “get rich quick” crypto scheme).

Here’s the pitch in case you missed it the first time (and judging by sales, everyone did):

• A blended family Thanksgiving.

• One guy trying to hold it all together.

• Two dads battling over poultry supremacy.

• Secrets, drama, and turkey-related chaos.

• A whole lot of heart and humor.

Basically, if you’ve ever sat at a holiday dinner table and thought, “Why did I show up for this mess?”—then congratulations, this book is your autobiography in disguise.

So why am I dragging this poor forgotten novel back into the light now? Two reasons:

1. Shameless awareness. If even one of you decides to click that little “Buy Now” button, I can finally say I’ve sold a book. One. Singular. That’s all I need to keep from putting “undefeated champion of zero sales” on my tombstone.

2. Because I’m writing again. My next project is nothing like this one. If Blended for the Holidays was a family comedy with heart, the new book is shaping up to be a full-on psychological mind-bender. Think journal entries that spiral into madness, uncomfortable truths, and an ending that will make you question if you’re the sane one… or not.

So yeah, Blended for the Holidays might be my first “phailure,” but it’s also the first brick in what I hope will eventually be a weird, funny, and slightly disturbing wall of stories.

If you want to help me upgrade from “writer with an unread book” to “writer with one read book”, here’s your chance:
👉 Grab your copy of Blended for the Holidays here.

And if not? That’s cool too. I’ll just be over here, marinating in my failure like a turkey in a questionable brine.